meet up on october 12th at richmond at one---CINEMA

mmm. anyways today i am meeting a few people, called pony, bear, and alex lie. the person i like at the moment is bear. hes really nice, like the only guy i know who doesnt have an over rated opinion of himself. hes alright looking, like nice skin and like ince features, but nothing speacial. i dont know why everything i d goes wrong. i always end up makinga fool of myself. i wish that some one would like me. like ii dunno, the picture i put up, its not me, its this random girl from facebook. dunno who she is, but i think she at least looks happy. i wih i could be happy. because now that my best friend has decided that im not her best friend, itsreally horrible, like waking up in the morning and having to plan out what im going to say to who, what im going to wear, how im goign to do in tests everything so that i can manipulate people in to liking me---because im being manipulated at the same time. its all because of boys you know? because everyone tries to manipulate people to get sm=omeone-and that smeone is always a boy. i guess i can talk. every boy i have ever gotten of with has decided that im fat and uglyy and try hard. but i try hard because i know im ugly, and i need to over compensate for people to like me. I wish people would like me for who i was-but then who would-im not like funny or gorgeous or big boobed or the most popular girl the world has ever seen.true im in the "cool clique" at school, and am one of the top four, but still, everyone else is so pretty. im the girl the boys the talk to toget her friends. i dunno. what do i do?

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